hat’s so difficult about holding your ejaculation back when making love?

I’d say a guy who reaches the point of ejaculation inside two and a half minutes of entering his partner is probably coming too soon. And he’s unlikely to be obtaining the highest levels of sexual pleasure for himself, and he’s most likely not pleasing his partner sexually very much, either.

So, in the following paragraphs, I’ll explain some simple tactics which could help you to delay ejaculation and last longer in bed during intercourse.

Of course other things come up (forgive the pun!) when you lack the ability to hold back on your ejaculation: for instance, you might feel shame, lower masculine self-respect, a sense of failure as a lover, and you’re probably very well aware of the dissatisfaction of your sexual partner. Truth is, most women like sex, and it seems the time they want it to last for is around 15 minutes.

However, the average time for which intercourse actually lasts is around 9 minutes. Oh dear. And the average time among premature ejaculators is less than 3 minutes. How do you compare with that?

Some lovers decide they will deal with rapid ejaculation in a sensible way, most likely by making sure that the woman has an orgasm before penetration. And it is true that sexual intercourse and lovemaking can take many forms! Think oral sex. Think mutual masturbation.

Yet, although this can satisfy some couples, it still means that the woman has not experienced the intimacy of extended penetrative lovemaking. This is a sensation which many women actually crave, and which many say can be as rewarding as orgasm itself.

In short, to improve the quality of your life and your relationship in every way, both sexually and in every other way, you need to know how to delay your ejaculation and last longer in bed.

The average length of sexual intercourse will not satisfy most women, even if they’ve achieved orgasm before intercourse starts.

Women want to know their man has the power to last longer in bed so that they can enjoy the sense of intimacy and connection which making love gives them.

Simple advice to improve your staying power and sexual stamina.

A vital part of learning to last longer in bed is that you discover how to be more relaxed while having sex. (For those who have problems with the psychology of sex and relationships, finding a coach or therapist can be helpful.)

Having sex makes the muscles of your body tighten as you become more aroused. You know this is happening when your breathing becomes shallower and faster. Together these changes speed up your progress towards orgasm, which makes it essential to counteract them.

Surprisingly, it is possible to remain relaxed and keep your breathing deep and slow even as you become wrapped up in the excitement of sexual arousal.

The simplest way to avoid tension is to keep a small portion of your mind focused entirely on the amount of muscular tension you are experiencing, and to keep track of your breathing so you can slow down and take deep breaths if necessary.

So every time you sense that you’re getting more tense, take time to slow down, and consciously relax all your muscles. Ejaculation delay, delay, delay. Think about it!

And again, if you notice your breathing is getting shallow and fast, slow it down and take several slow, deep breaths. These two simple strategies will actually enable you to delay your ejaculation for a surprisingly long time.

Another important principle of ejaculation control is that you know when you’re going to come. Many men who want to avoid premature ejaculation are unaware of how aroused they are, so that their ejaculation surprises them.

Become more aware of how aroused you are and you can control your progress towards orgasm by slowing down the rhythm of sex, resting gently inside your partner and giving your arousal time to decrease.

And practice on your own: masturbate with a slippery lubricant such as olive oil; repeatedly bring yourself towards the point of ejaculation, but stop before you come. While you do this, watch how aroused you are, and stop masturbating before you actually shoot your load.

Don’t just delay ejaculation, but enjoy the sensuality of the self-arousal too. The first few times you try this, you may find that it’s necessary to stop well in advance of the point of no return; with practice, you’ll be able to bring yourself much closer to the PONR and remain there for longer.

More information:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22827115

If possible, bring yourself near to the point of climax four or five times before finally taking pleasure in your climax. Simply by using this technique you will rapidly discover how to delay ejaculation and make love for at some extended time.

You can then adapt a similar technique for full intercourse, slowing down or stopping your stimulation when you become too aroused.

Vaginal Intercourse & Premature Ejaculation

Prolonged vaginal intercourse is a desirable thing for most men.  Imagine  not ejaculating the minute you enter her! OK, so what do you do to achieve this? 

Start, as always, with sexual caresses and gentle foreplay. Satisfy your partner sexually if she wants it. If you are going to enjoy intercourse, at the point where you are ready to enter her, lie on your back.

You’re going to have sex with your partner on top while you lie on your back. You can put your penis at the entry to her vagina or just inside it, and see what that feels like. If you feel like you are about to ejaculate, ease off or away until the sensation passes.

Remember the idea is to maintain your level of arousal for as long as you choose without coming. Your partner must be wet so you can get into her easily. If she’s not aroused enough, go back to some sex play that gets her lubricating freely.

When you’re sure you’re in control of your arousal, with your partner on top, put your penis inside her vagina and rest there without moving. 

Think about how it feels. If everything has gone well, you will be able to enjoy this most wonderful feeling without coming. If, by some mischance, you do ejaculate the minute you’re in her, it isn’t a disaster. Don’t get uptight and apologize or mentally beat yourself up!!

Just enjoy the ejaculation, let yourself go fully into it, and make the most of it. Then, when things have calmed down, go back in your exercises to the point where you last had good control. Don’t despair! Just work through it again, perhaps taking more time over the exercises before you ejaculate.

If all goes well, and you are now in her and comfortably in control of your ejaculation, guide her up and down with your hands on her hips until you are comfortably aroused but not going to ejaculate. Keep it that way by adjusting the speed and depth of your partner’s movements. Don’t move yourself!

Stop her moving and rest if you get too close to coming. You can even take your penis out of her vagina and rest if you feel this to be more helpful in developing your self-control. Resume when your arousal has decreased.

Your desire to ejaculate will decrease at this point, and when it has done so, guide her into resuming her movements, once again pausing when you get near the point of ejaculatory inevitability. It is important that during the first three repetitions of this sequence you do not thrust.

And it’s probably obvious to you that the longer you both go on practicing this before you ejaculate, the more control you are developing. However, on the fourth repetition, let yourself go, focus on how it feels and thrust until you ejaculate. Enjoy!

The crucial thing is that you try and focus on what you’re feeling all the time, so that you know when you’re about to ejaculate and can stop her moving before it happens. 

If you find your arousal increasing too much you can also close your eyes so you don’t see your partner’s breasts. If you’re really having problems of self-control, you can stop your partner moving altogether and wait, resting inside her, until your arousal decreases and you’re back in control.

There’s a small possibility that you may lose your erection as you try these exercises. If so, this guide to overcoming ED may be helpful.

The last step is for you to actually begin thrusting. Do this gently at first, so as to work out how aroused you get and how quickly you move towards orgasm. The essential point to remember is that you are in control: you can control the speed and depth of your thrusting to regulate your arousal. At some point you will find a balance between movement and arousal and you’ll then be able to continue thrusting for as long as you want to without ejaculating.