What’s in A Name?

For some men, the time between penetration and ejaculation is really short every time they make love. This is premature ejaculation (PE for short).

There are many different theories, approaches and treatment methods to dealing with premature ejaculation, so we are going to tell you which ones actually work.

But first, we need to find a reliable definition of premature ejaculation.

In this context we may need to establish some criteria for deciding what is premature – and what is not!

For some men, premature ejaculation may just be a part of the normal variation of time to ejaculation. 

So men who occasionally ejaculate too soon could be said to have “natural variable premature ejaculation”.

And men who have had the problem since their first sexual encounter and continue to come too soon every time they have sex (possibly very soon after penetration) have a different issue which we can call “lifelong premature ejaculation”.

On the other hand, there are many men who say that they have premature ejaculation but who ejaculate after a reasonable time, for example perhaps 5 to 10 minutes after penetration.

These men simply feel bad about coming too soon – but there is actually nothing wrong with them! This has been called by the fancy name of “premature-like ejaculatory dysfunction“.

This seems to me to do nothing more than satisfy the scientists’ need for classification – it does not seem like a helpful category.

Surely men who last ten minutes in bed are normal and do not have any kind of premature or early ejaculation? (Actually, what they really have is a faulty belief that their performance in bed is not good enough….) 

Certainly men who fall into this latter category seem to have more of a psychological problem than a real one, and probably need counseling, and education about what is normal during sex.

Those men who have lifelong premature ejaculation and are desperate to last longer during sex may find a cure on this website.

The Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM IV)

Definitions of PE tend to be subjective, though the DSM (fourth edition, revised text) also known as the DSM IV-TR, published by the United States Psychiatric Association, defines it as persistent or recurrent ejaculation after minimal stimulation before, on, or just after penetration and before the man wishes it.

The DSM IV goes on to acknowledge the subjective element in this definition by acknowledging that the doctor must recognize many factors.

This means anything which affects the duration of the “excitement phase” of sexual intercourse: for example, the age of the sexual participants, newness of the sexual partner or situation, and how often the man has had sex in the recent past.

So in other words, premature ejaculation can be thought of as only occurring when a man’s early ejaculation causes distress or interpersonal difficulty.

That’s an interesting concept, because not being able to last long enough in bed is for many men a really distressing situation.

Indeed, most men who come quickly would be extremely grateful for any cure which enabled them to maintain control over their sexual arousal.

According to the ICD (10th edition) which is issued by the World Health Organization, premature ejaculation is the inability to delay ejaculation enough to enjoy lovemaking, and takes the form of ejaculation before penetration or very soon after the start of intercourse, though they define it as within 15 seconds of intercourse starting, which seems to be extremely restrictive.

Many men who cannot last longer than a minute would not consider themselves to be normal in this respect. In any event, what is clear is that satisfying intercourse is often not possible regardless of how long the man lasts before he ejaculates.

So on the one hand we have a definition which speaks of fifteen seconds of sex before ejaculation; on the other we have a definition which requires a man to experience distress during sex.

Both of these definitions are subjective, of course, and the absence of a time cut-off point which all can agree on makes them of potentially limited use.

After all – doesn’t  a man know when he has premature ejaculation?

I think the answer to this is – no, not always, for he may not know how long the average time between penetration and ejaculation actually is, nor may he know how his sexual performance compares to other men’s.

He may also be under pressure from his sexual partner because, for example, of her failure to reach orgasm during intercourse, while in fact his sexual performance is quite normal.

How To Define EARLY Ejaculation?

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual complaints in men.

Estimates of the number of men experiencing it range from 20% to 75%. However, there is no general agreement of what this condition actually is, what causes it, or how it can be cured. Fortunately there are treatment approaches which can be used by all men with a high degree of success.

There is no commonly agreed definition of premature ejaculation.

However, if a man can’t control when he ejaculates, and he does so sooner than he or his partner wants, then that’s pretty clearly something you can call “premature”.

As you see, we are already deeply into the subjective area. One man may last two minutes between penetration and ejaculation and regard that as a very short time, so short in fact that he believes he is a poor lover with little control; but another man may think two minutes is perfectly acceptable and see himself as a very good lover.

In fact, only a weak correlation has been found between the actual time between penetration and ejaculation and whether a man describes himself as coming too soon.

Therefore the definition of “premature” may all be about the expectations a man and/or his partner have rather than his actual ability to last longer than two minutes or ten during sex.

One should also remember that rapid ejaculation is the norm for all other mammals. 

During sex both partners are extremely vulnerable, which suggests evolution would have favored more rapid ejaculation. Ejaculatory control is something human males can acquire with time, but according to this view, it’s not a natural phenomenon: it must be learned.

So what you mean when you say you wish to “last longer” may be completely different to what another man means when he says he wishes to do so!